Do you know Andre Pepin, the rapist?? I do not know if I had to write this text because there are people in my family who come here to read me. I want them to know that all is well and I have chosen this moment to speak because here in Peru, we can not do anything to me. I do not have to answer some questions that no more, and I can live with that ....
In life there are those people who break the lives of people around them just to satisfy their need for control. The legacy that will live with their victims is irrelevant, not even at all. A few months ago, I received an email from a friend that I have not seen for 20 years. I met with him and another friend, the most difficult moments of my life, worse than prison. And after 20 years he told me he had to talk to me because I am the only one who could understand him. I knew what he wanted me talk about myself because I tried that friend for 10 years because I wanted to talk to him ...... My friend
he just told me to get out of the hell of drugs last year, I was lucky to be able to get out 20 years ago. You should probably know that 87, when we saw each day was to freeze like crazy, as was done for 3-4 years. 84, was the year where everything was rushed to us. L, E and I had always had a rebellious side. We knew all the acid, then the hash, then mescaline, but it had never touched cocaine. We all went to school. It does not put all the effort, but it was not like caves, so we managed to be above average. I could be well over, but I did not particularly like school, and I always had a lazy side, so I contented myself to be above average.
We never froze at school, but the day someone put something in my glass, all this must change. I was at the Brasserie de la Plaza, Tracy on our lunch hour. I had met Dede, a friend of my friends, a lot older, I do not know how many years more, but I would say at least 15 more, around 30 years. we had a few beers, and as I was too drunk to go to school, he told me that I could go home to rest.
I always had this little side naive that I did not realize how much some people may have bad intentions. So I drove home the time school finishes and I can go home without arousing suspicion. With him, I lost the card and I do not remember anything. I had to suffer the consequences of a mixture of beer and Alcion. At first, I did not understand what had happened, I had been drinking only 4-5 beers and I lost the card for hours. Certainly, I was abused .... In the scale of abuse, it is surely at the bottom of the ladder, but when you are 14 years old and you're weak, that marks ...
For years I had it in mind. I did not know what to think. I asked so many questions, and I never found the answers. I was shy to be sick. I have almost no pictures of me because I was embarrassed. I did not go for girls because I was shy. As my friends have been abused by the same muddy repeatedly at the same time, our consumption of drugs have skyrocketed at the same time and for the same reasons. At that time, we did not want to know anything and anyone. It was destroying itself. When you geles the binn, it's funny how we forget, but basically it's still deeply in us until the day we decide to fix what is wrong in our lives for years.
By pure chance, as I write these few words, plays on TV in Peru, Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. Pink Floyd. What about Pink Floyd, except that I wanted to die so many times by listening during my adolescence. Filled with acid, we thought we were low for being abused. We thought we were responsible, maybe we were gay. Of course being gay would have had nothing wrong, but we wanted to know otherwise ..... We hated everybody, it was thought that everyone hated us. Of André Pépin, there are plenty, but he was working at Atlas Steel, or ITQs, it was a bizarre case in the neck, and he went to prison for sexual abuse to the years 87-88. He paid for some of his actions disgusting but he made a mistake, the mistake of his life, he abused me.
I spent with difficulties à travers son abus, mais j'ai passé à travers. J'ai pu arrêter de me shooter après quelques mois d'enfer. J'ai surmonté 14 années de prison avec les pires criminels, au point où à la fin j'en faisais partie. Sur une base régulière j'ai frôlé la mort sans broncher. Je ne désire plus mourir depuis longtemps, mais la mort ne m'effraie pas. Pépin, tu as commis l'erreur de t'attaquer à plus fort que toi , il est maintenant temps de payer le bill. La facture sera salée, je pense que tu es sur le bord de la faillite. Quel dommage que je ne peux le faire moi-même. Mais ce n'est pas grave, tu ne penses peux être plus à moi, mais quand tu vas entendre mon nom, tu go to pray in vain .... my fucking dog .....
